Clients’ Experiences

“Having never undergone any form of therapy prior to my engagement of Victoria I was naturally nervous and uncertain as to what to expect. My fears very quickly proved to be unfounded.   Victoria is an extremely welcoming and professional therapist. She has helped me to find many highly useful and accurate insights into myself and my emotions. Providing a safe and comfortable environment to talk candidly and with relevance she is always non-judgemental and displays a warmth, compassion and sense of humour that encourage and guide at every step.  Releasing my own suppressed feelings has not been an easy journey and I am one hundred per cent certain I could not have done so without Victoria.  In conclusion, I have no reservations about recommending therapy and I would thoroughly recommend anyone considering this journey to undertake it with Victoria.”
David (50 yrs; IT Consultant)

“Victoria What can I say, other than a very big thank you? Having been diagnosed with ‘borderline personality disorder’, where regulating my emotions was near impossible, your open and understanding kindness helped me discover new ways of taking care of myself. From missing out on the emotional nurturance as a child, I realised that I had to learn to re-parent myself and take responsibility for my own life experiences, which I failed to acknowledge for so many years; always relying on others to make me feel good. As someone with a headstrong attitude, stubborn and believing that I was always right, it was going to take someone with immense patience and skill to help me break free from this negative mindset. From resisting the concept of counselling / psychotherapy, you created a safe place where I could share all the things that had held me back for so long, and helped me understand and appreciate the value of talking about issues that had troubled me so much. The proof is in the pudding, as they say, and you certainly helped me realise that I really couldn’t do it on my own. So, after twenty-seven sessions and a taste of humble pie, I finally reached a place of comfort. I still struggle from time to time but that’s just life, but now I have the tools to deal with things in a different way. So, once again, I want to think you so much for remaining so professional but still caring.”
Darren (39 years; construction worker and now trainee counsellor)

“Over the course of 155 sessions Victoria counselled me with delicacy, great intelligence and insight and firmness of character. Throughout this genuinely transformative process, I developed insight into how my formative years affected the outcomes of my adult life. Whilst we barely touched on my professional life as a Solicitor, we focused in particular on my emotional relationships which up to that point were almost without exception a litany of failure. Since I completed my counselling with Victoria, I have been in a happy relationship with my fiance for almost 2 years, which is great progress for me. I am truly grateful for the gift of counselling that Victoria provided me with.”
Richard (33 years)

“Dear Victoria,
Working with you over the past 2 years has quite literally changed my life. Of course it’s probable that any counsellor could’ve untangled my past but I believe it was your particular approach and persona that provided the nudge I needed to take those first steps on my journey. I remember our early sessions and how I found opening up to you challenging, but you intuitively struck a fine balance between encouraging me to explore behaviours and thoughts I’d carried all my life and knowing when I needed guidance coming to terms with the resulting discomfort. You broke down decades of defences without a shred of the insincere ‘navel gazing’ I’d been dreading from therapy. Your frank and sincere style of empathy is a true gift and I thank whatever led me to finding you as a therapist.
I remember waiting impatiently for my ‘lightbulb’ moment, when all the past issues would suddenly be ok, but I’ve learned that for me, that’s not the way. Instead I’ve slowly realised my worth and value, and I can reflect back and say ‘yes, that was bad wasn’t it. Thank goodness I’m not going to go there again’. I now know it’s ok to have the bad days; to sit with the feelings and acknowledge them, and I’ll be eternally grateful that you taught me this as it’s a tool I use every day, and has helped me move on from destructive situations and behaviours. I know my journey to fulfilment is far from over, and I feel I’ll seek your counsel later along the way but for now I’m just so thankful for everything you’ve helped me achieve over the past two years.
I will miss our sessions but I carry all I learned with me and think of you often – you are an amazing therapist and I’m so thankful that our paths crossed.”
Anonymous (47 years)

“I first visited Victoria in 2014 and again in 2017-2021 when circumstances in my life were causing me a lot of anxiety and myself self-esteem plummeted so I was unable to pick myself up without help. I chose Victoria because of her background in mental health nursing as this was important to me as I felt I needed a professional opinion on my issues. I had grown up with a mentally unwell mother and her relationship with my father was turbulent, as a result my upbringing was traumatic and confusing. I found relationships in my own life at the time to also be confusing and I was using a lot of alcohol and drugs, adding to the chaos surrounding my life. I was becoming increasingly aware that I could not continue like that and as I was a mother and due to become one for a 2nd time, I was desperate to feel better and I knew that this meant that I would need to face my issues head on.
Victoria and I worked slowly, unpicking my childhood experiences and for the first time ever I was able to open up about how I actually felt and what affect the experiences had on me. We went over my eating disorders, drink and drug issues and my tendency to put others before myself in relationships. We worked on why I did these things and how they related to my past experiences which had not been acknowledged or processed at the time. The time Victoria spent listening to me and empathising with my story helped me to accept it and I learned to be kind and compassionate to myself.
I started to not want to destroy myself or my body with drink and drugs and I took up yoga. I read lots of recovery literature and began to understand the social conditioning of alcohol and its effects on mental health. I took up yoga and learnt to move and breathe through my difficult emotions instead of reaching for unhealthy coping strategies. I started eating healthily and my relationship with food and my body improved. I took up other new hobbies, got a job at mind and made new friends. I made the difficult decision to leave my marriage and start life as a single mum. For the first time in my life, I actually trusted myself.
Victoria’s professional, understanding and empathic nature has helped me to get to where I am today. At times she was my mum, others my aunt and others a dear old friend. My ability to love others and my relationships with my children, my dad and my friends have all improved. I can now set firm and fair boundaries and I am able to prioritise my own wellbeing. I am resilient and I know that whatever happens I can trust myself. Even though I have taken a temporary pause in therapy I often remember the things that we spoke about in testing times and I nurture myself in the way I need.
I cannot recommend Victoria or therapy in general enough. The mess in your head is slowly unpicked and unravels and the relief this gives allows you to move forward and be the best you can be instead of repeating old patterns.
Thank you, Victoria, I am forever grateful for your help.”
Michelle (43 years; Civil Servant)

“Therapy has helped me to understand myself and be kinder to myself. It’s opened a door to self-belief, trust in my own emotions, and self-confidence.”
Anonymous (33 years; police officer)

“Dear Victoria.  I wanted to say thank you for all your help and guidance over the past 9 months. When I first came to counselling, although realising I needed some form of support I really had no idea what to expect, as my understanding of the counselling process was incredibly limited. After the first few sessions I felt totally relaxed; your non-judgemental attitude and unwavering professionalism inspired me to continue. Your ability to put me at ease enabled me to be very open and honest and I have really been able to tackle deep feelings and emotions that I have never known how, or been able, to address. I can’t emphasise enough how amazing this experience has been for me. I have learnt to understand and accept my attitudes and behaviour and realise how past experiences impact me as an adult today. Developing this deeper understanding has allowed me to look at myself objectively and make some very significant changes in my life. These changes have had an immense and positive impact on me as an individual. The other most amazing experience has been learning to ‘make the connections’; some of these are so gratifying and I have definitely become a much happier person with a clearer understanding of whom I am and where I am going. I cannot thank you enough for your support, for helping me unlock this knowledge and for teaching me to trust. Thank you very much indeed. I looking forward to continuing to work with you.”
Denise (44 years; company director)

“I worked with Victoria for a year in exploring issues with my relationships and found her direct approach helpful. I have previously worked with a more traditional psychotherapist but found that Victoria’s willingness to engage and suggest solutions very helpful for the stage I was at. I felt I made good progress with her.”
Anonymous (49 years; solicitor)

“Dear Victoria
Thank you for all your help and advice over the several months and sessions with you.
I found my sessions most helpful and felt that it was easy to talk to you and open up about my concerns. You helped me to question my thoughts and beliefs about myself and life around me, and I especially found your suggestion to read and learn about ‘mindfulness’ between and after my session had ended useful.
At last, I feel that I can deal with life in a much more level-headed and constructive way than ever before.
Should I ever feel the need for counselling again, I would not hesitate to come back to you.”
Vicki (35 years; accountant)

“ After two to three  major traumatic (to me!) events in my recent life – one physical and two psychological – late in my 60’s; I embarked on a “self healing” process with Victoria who helped me get back to normality over 6 months or so. Self Help – guided by Victoria – is a slow process and takes time but traumatic events need to be analysed and discussed over time and it takes time to sort out the main causes of anxiety and panic attacks. In my case some nearly 70 years of failings and disappointments needed to be addressed so that I could finally see clearly all the POSITIVE things in my life as well as the value of the Negative experiences too. It is our failings that sometimes mould the sort of person we are and that can be for good.
Victoria is very calming and although she might venture a guarded opinion/suggestion or perhaps just raise an eyebrow on occasions she is encouraging and non-judgmental. She guides you to help yourself without the need to resort to medication or drugs – which I have grave reservations about – especially mind altering ones. Her Consulting Room in Tonbridge has a welcoming calming aura and is warm and cosy. Victoria herself gives you all the time in the world and listens intently and sympathetically. Never once did she express exasperation or disapproval during our discussions. She very rarely if ever cancels a session too and I consider her charges excellent value for money.
All sorts of strange events from my past were discussed to lead me to my current conclusion that with her help I had succeeded in calming the “demons”  of my recent traumas which in turn had revived “demons” I thought I had conquered from the past. I was initially reluctant to delve back into these past events but my ability to deal with these helped me realise I could still deal with RECENT events in the same way. My “failings” may still be there but I an back now firmly in charge of them again!
Sometimes as we get older we have MORE time to worry about ourselves and others and LESS power to actually do anything about events in our lives involving loved ones or children and that can be very frustrating when we are used to being in charge. Victoria is a very supportive therapist and I also liked the fact that she in turn was connected to a wider network of therapists for additional advice and guidance. Victoria herself has a very welcoming and open mind and she is not prescriptive or fixed in one therapy technique. I liked her Nursing background too as she had a good medical knowledge in addition to her therapy skills.
I would certainly recommend her to you – but don’t go looking for a quick fix like I did initially  — it may take quite a few visits – in my case 24 in all before I felt able to try going it alone again — and I know that I can go back if I need to and as I head for that magic 3 score years and ten. Thank you Victoria”
Keith (69 years; retired teacher)

“To Victoria.
Thank you for everything over the past 3½ years. When I first arrived, I didn’t think that counselling would have the effect that it has. I thought I would have a few sessions to clear my head and leave it there. I now know that would have of no use and probably left me worse off. Thank you for being kind when I needed it but equally for giving me a kick up the bum when I needed it” I am in a much better place now thanks to your support. Knowing that I have your contact details has made it easier to finish my sessions and I will be sure to call if I need to. Thanks again.”
Tanya (44; teacher)

“As someone who has struggled with anxiety, I understand how difficult it can be to seek help and open up about your struggles. For a long time, I tried to manage my anxiety on my own, but eventually, I realized that I needed professional support.
Initially, I accessed counselling through the NHS and saw a few different therapists. While I found these experiences to be helpful, I ultimately found that sticking with the same therapist for a longer period of time had a greater impact on my mental health.
Over the course of almost three years, I attended weekly sessions with Victoria, a professional counsellor and psychotherapist. Through these sessions, I gained a deeper understanding of myself, my behaviours, and my triggers. My therapist provided me with a safe and supportive space to talk through my concerns and feelings, and provided me with practical tools to manage my anxiety.
One of the things that I appreciated most about my experience with counselling and psychotherapy was the ability to build a relationship with my therapist over time. We developed a rapport and trust that allowed me to feel comfortable opening up about my deepest concerns and fears. I felt heard and understood in a way that I hadn’t before, which helped me to feel more confident in managing my anxiety.
To anyone who is struggling with their mental health, I would highly recommend exploring the option of counselling and psychotherapy. While it may take time and effort to find the right therapist, it is worth it to find someone who you feel comfortable talking to and who can provide you with the support and guidance you need. And, if possible, sticking with the same therapist over a longer period of time can be incredibly beneficial in your journey towards better mental health.
Overall, my experience with counselling and psychotherapy has been positive, and I am grateful for the support and guidance that I received during my journey towards better mental health.”
Anonymous (38yr)